spiders and machines

So last night I was working on my online classes after Thomas went to bed, and I got up to make a snack. I came across a ginormous spider when I picked up the honey jar on the counter. I hate spiders. Sometimes I'm really brave and kill them by myself, but I wasn't feeling particularly brave last night, especially because it almost got on my hand! So off I went to wake Thomas up... although I felt bad waking him up, I figured he could just kill it quickly and go back to sleep. Right?
Wrong. It was like trying to raise the dead. When I finally got a response out of him it went like this:

Sarah: Thomas, there's a huge spider on the counter in the kitchen, pleeeeaaaaaase come kill it!
Thomas: *irritated* Why are you making machines out of spiders?
Sarah: Uhhhhh... ok... I'll take that as a no...

Sometimes I think I need a specialist to analyze his subconscious brain. Making machines out of spiders...???

Anyways, eventually I got brave and decided to kill it myself. My utensils included a long bread knife (to poke it out of hiding), an envelope (to put of top of it), and a bottle of ibuprofen (to smash it with). Needless to say, it's very dead.