Showing posts with label 2 months. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2 months. Show all posts

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Dear Theodore {2 months}

08/23/2014

Dear Theodore,

Today is your two-months-in-heaven birthday. I know you are rejoicing and praising Jesus - life is perfect and wonderful for you... what more could a mother want for her child? My greatest prayer and desire for my children will always be that they know Jesus. And you are in His very presence - you know Him better than any of us.

Life is a little harder for us left behind here on earth. We miss you so much. You would be two months old now, smiling and delighting us. I often wonder how you and Judah would have interacted... I imagine him being silly to entertain you and giving you endless hugs and kisses just like he did when I carried you for nine months. Everything I do is a reminder of the absence of you. Every time we go somewhere I feel like we're missing something because you're not with us. Our life is too simple. You're not here... joyfully complicating our lives with another squirmy little one to get ready, another car seat to buckle, a double stroller to lug around. I know that as time goes by, this sharp ache will grow duller. But it will never go away - you are my child and I will miss you until I see you again.

This month we finished putting away all of your baby things. We put a few things away immediately, but the rest took me a while. The house feels too big now - it's supposed to be cluttered with swings and bouncy seats and play mats. I should be tripping over your pack n play when I climb out of bed. But mainly the house feels too big because there's a whole person missing. You.

Two months... my mind cannot grasp the nature of time. On one level I can hardly believe it's only been two months. It feels like a lifetime ago that you were born. A lifetime that we have been living with this grief of missing you. And then again it feels like you were born yesterday... I can still feel the weight of you in my arms. I can still smell your precious baby smell and feel your soft skin. You are in heaven... perfectly whole and happy, but my selfish human mama's heart just wishes you were in my arms. The loss and grief is ours to bear. I am so glad that you do not, and will not ever feel this pain.

We have been so blessed to have your Grandma and your Nana be with us here over the past few months. Your Grandma was here the last few weeks I was pregnant with you and when you were born. I was on bedrest and she kept our home running. Grandma met you and held you, and got us through that first terrible, heartbreaking week. She put together your whole memorial service. It was beautiful. When Grandma left a week after your birth, your Nana arrived the same day. Nana has been here with us and helped us get through things like picking up your ashes, putting away your baby things, your little burial service on your one-month-in-heaven birthday... and just adjusting to life without you. Your Grandma and Nana's time with us was supposed to be helping us welcome you into this world and adjust to our new life as a family of four. Instead they have looked after us and held us together when we were falling to pieces. Nana leaves in a couple of days, and we will have yet another adjustment to make - back to "real" life. Such a different life than we thought we would be living just two months ago.

Theodore Robert... our precious son... oh, how we love you. It is the hardest thing in the world to be a parent to a child in heaven - our hearts long to be there with you but we know we are here on earth for a reason, and so we must stay here. Your big brother Judah has been the light of our lives even more so the past two months. He delights us with his imagination and his antics. He is growing up so fast and we love seeing his personality and his character develop. We are so thankful to have him to hold and love here on earth. Somehow we must find a way to love you from afar. It brings such deeper meaning to Hebrews 13:14 "This world is not our home...". I long for the day in heaven when we get to meet you and learn all about you. And that glorious day of Christ's return, when our whole family will be together again...

Hold him for us, dear Lord. And hold us, too.

We love you, Theodore.

~ Momma, Papa, and Judah




Thursday, April 19, 2012

Two months old!


Sweet baby Jude, you turned two months old on April 13th! Time is just flying by. You are the most delightful little soul and I am thrilled to spend every moment with you.











Staring up at momma, who was making funny faces at you.

 Sticking your tongue out at us!

Sitting up all by yourself!

Staring at the toys hanging from your play gym.

Smiles for momma.

A little chat with Dad.

 Precious laughter!




How big you are:
At your 2 month check up on 4/16/12 (you were 9 weeks old to the day) you weighed 13lbs 15oz! Good heavens, child! You are a big boy, and you just love your food. The pediatrician was very impressed with your strength, alertness, and general good health. You’re only about 2.5 lbs away from doubling your birth weight of 8lbs 4oz! My arms get a work out carrying you around all day. You are wearing mostly 0-3 and 3 month size clothing, and starting to fit some 3-6 month clothes!

Things you love:
You still LOVE your bath time. We’ve started filling up the big tub with water and putting your bath seat in there. We wash you down and then let you “swim” around the tub (with one of us holding you!). You love to kick and splash with your legs and arms. We also sing to you while you’re taking a bath, and you’ve started to “sing along” with your little voice – it’s very adorable!

You LOVE being held and carried around. You are very curious and like to be held up on our shoulders, or facing outwards so you can see the world around you.

You LOVE playing in your gym. You like to be propped up in a semi-sitting position with your Boppy pillow and you grin at the dangling toys and bat at them with your chubby little arms.

You’ve also started to LOVE playing with toys that rattle or jingle. You got some cute little wrist rattles in your Easter basket, and you love to wave your arms around and hear them rattle. Whenever we rattle or jingle a toy in front of you, you start smiling and chuckling and talking to it.

You LOVE brightly colored and contrasting objects – they catch your attention and you will grin at them and talk to them!

You [obviously!] LOVE your food. This month you’ve been eating every 3-4 hours during the day, and every 5-6 hours at night. The only time you really get upset is if you are hungry and fortunately for you, that is a quick fix!

You LOVE to look at faces – especially mom and dad’s faces! It makes us feel really special that you recognize us and always give us the biggest smiles when there are other people around J You have a little book with photos of baby’s faces that you also love to stare at. The other day at our mom and baby class, we sat next to another little baby girl and you two just STARED at each other for the longest time – it was hilarious!

You LOVE soft fuzzy blankets! Your Great-grandma Driver sent you one that you snuggle up in every time you go to sleep. If you are overtired and fighting sleep, all we have to do is wrap you up in a fuzzy blanket and you nuzzle into it and fall right to sleep.

You also LOVE your pacifier when it’s time to go to sleep. We pop a paci in your mouth and you suck on it and your eyes start to droop… and then you’re out for the count! It helps to keep you sleeping too – if you wake up you just start sucking again and fall right back asleep.

You LOVE to have our attention! If we are holding you, but doing something else, you will protest with little yelps and bat at us with your hands until we look at you and talk to you again! We are always rewarded by the biggest smiles and chuckles J

You still LOVE music. I’ve noticed that you respond the most to voices singing, and to cello and piano music. I try to remember to put music on whenever we are hanging out at home. You got some awesome CD’s with fun songs and lullabies from your Aunty Laura and Aunty Mary JI still need to get my flute out and play for you – I’m sure you will be fascinated by it. You love it when we whistle for you, especially when you’re right in front of our faces and you can feel it too! If you are crying because you’re hungry, Dad can distract you by whistling and singing to you until Mom is ready to feed you.

You LOVE being carried around in your pouch sling and your Maya ring sling. You love being held close and tight like that and you usually fall fast asleep. You are getting so big already, though, and momma’s shoulders and back get sore from carrying you around. We need to look into some more structured baby carriers that use both shoulders!

Things you don’t like:
You’re still not a big fan of diaper changes, but you are getting better at them! As long as you aren’t hungry, we can usually get through a diaper change without too many tears.

If you are awake, you don’t like to be in your carseat when it’s not moving. As long as we driving in the car, or riding in your stroller you’re fine, but if we stop moving for too long you protest! So far, though, car rides usually put you to sleep and then you’ll stay asleep when we bring you inside. As soon as you wake up, though, you want out!

You don’t like being by yourself if you are awake. You like to hear us and see us and know we are close by! I feel the same way about you J

What you’ve been up to this month:
You have become so alert and smiley and talkative this month. We have long conversations now – you tell me all about your day with coo’s and ahhhh’s and ooohh’s and ah-goo’s J You also sing along when I sing to you. You’ve started chuckling/giggling when you find something funny – it’s just the most precious thing!

You make the most adorable faces, both when you’re sleeping and when you’re awake. Your chubby cheeks and expressive face make our hearts melt over and over again.

You hold up your head almost perfectly now. You also hold your torso up very well, because you love to be up and looking about when we hold you over our shoulders. You’re not all floppy like a newborn anymore! When you are awake you like to hold yourself up, push up with your legs, and wave your arms around. You purposefully bat at things with your hands.

You are also a snuggly baby – you burrow your head into my neck when you’re tired or overstimulated and you like to be held close.

When you do tummy time, you can do a mini-pushup and look around. You haven’t rolled completely over to your back yet, but you can roll from side to side. You’ve almost rolled over many times, but you always get startled and stop right as you’re about to go over!

You’ve started settling into more of a routine. We’re just following your lead at the moment, because we figure you will let us know what you need! You don’t sleep through the night without eating (which is perfectly normal for a baby your age, and it doesn’t bother me at all – I love your sleepy nighttime snuggles), but you do sleep solidly from about 10 or 11pm to 10 or 11am, waking twice for feedings around 3am and 8am. For those two feedings you usually only wake up just enough to eat what you want and then you go right back to sleep. If we have to go somewhere in the morning, you will usually just sleep in your carseat until about the same time as normal (10-11am). You eat then when you wake up, and you’re usually awake for an hour or two. You might take a little cat nap, and then you eat again around 1 or 2pm and go down for a 2-3 hour nap. You eat again when you wake up from that nap (4-5pm) and then you’re awake for a couple hours and we play! Dad comes home at 5:30pm (when he doesn’t have grad classes) and you play with him. Around 6-7pm you take another little nap and then you eat again around 8 pm. Then you are awake for a couple hours and this is when we do story time, bath time, and sing to you. Usually around 11pm you eat again and then go down for the night!

You are sleeping in our room in your bassinet. Right now the plan is to keep you in our room until you sleep through the night without needing to eat, which could be several months. Your bassinet clicks into its stroller base, but we’ve recently ended up just putting it at the bottom of our bed instead because it’s easier and we don’t have the huge stroller taking up space in our bedroom. It’s also easy because I just sit up and grab you from end of the bed to feed you and put you back when you’re done eating. Our bed has a footboard so the bassinet sits securely at my feet. You are going to outgrow the bassinet before too long, so we’ll have to come up with a new plan then!

We have been getting out more this month, and you are so easy to take with me everywhere I go – grocery shopping, arrands etc. You usually sleep in your carseat if we’re out during naptimes, or I carry you in a sling, or hold you in my lap if we’re at something like our mom and baby class. You are a contented baby! Your honorary Aunties Laura & Mary visited last week and you just tagged along wherever we went. Of course, you had all three of us to love and adore you all day long!

You had your first Easter! I made you a little Easter basket and you shared your chocolate with us J You got some books and a teething toy and wrist rattles. You also got an adorable outfit that you wore to church!

You went on your first picnic, to White Rock Lake! You were asleep in your carseat for most of it, but we had a great time J

You went on your first outing to the pool when Laura and Mary were here… the weather is perfect right now. Before long it will be too hot to spend time outside! You slept in your stroller most of the time… we kept you in the shade. The only time you were out in the sun was for a few minutes to take pictures! I dipped your little toes in the pool but you were not a fan of the cold water.

We started putting you in cloth diapers right at the end of your 2ndmonth. I had planned to just use disposables for the first month, but I overestimated how many we would need – we still have quite a good stock of size 1’s and 2’s! You are about to outgrow the size 1’s so we squeeze you into those during the day to use them up, and put you in cloth diapers at night because they’re much more absorbent. I have 6 Fuzzibunz cloth diapers and 6 BumGenius ones… so far I really like both of them for different reasons. The BumGenius seem to work best at nighttime (more absorbent), but the Fuzzibunz ones are SO much easier to get the poopy stains out of - I'm not sure what the difference is! I’m still trying to work out the kinks in our diaper laundry routine – just ordered some Rockin’ Green detergent and I’m hoping that works better. I'll probably do a whole post about cloth diapers soon.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I am LOVING every minute, baby boy. You are such a charming little fellow – you bring joy to people everywhere with your sweet smiles and laid-back personality. I am finding each new stage to be even better and more exciting than the last. That said, though, please don’t grow up too quickly! I am savoring your babyhood because I know it will go by like a flash.

Happy 2 months, Judah William. Your father and I love you from the depths of our hearts.

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