June 12th

Dates have always been important to me, and June 12th is a big day in the Congdon household.

Five years ago on June 12th, 2011 we found out that we were unexpectedly going to have a baby! We were parents!

The week that followed was full of excitement and slight panic and taking deep breaths and realizing our lives were about to change forever, though we couldn't possibly imagine how much that was true.

And now look at the size of him, eating ice cream almost exactly five years later!

Two years ago on June 12th, 2014 I went in for an ultrasound to check my fluid levels with baby boy number two - because I was measuring big, as usual (#chubbyCongdonbabies). Thomas decided at the last minute to come, too. I will never forget the kindness and joyfulness of the ultrasound tech. She said, "let's measure these fluid levels quick, and then we can play with baby!". Once she was done measuring, she took lots of time (which I know was not part of her job) to show us his sweet chubby face - he had some CHEEKS. We checked to make sure he was still a boy. He was so big at this point ("now, be aware that this is only an estimate but it looks like you might have a 9 pounder!" she said.. and she was right!), that we could only really see one body part at a time. She found his hands and he was waving at us - I can still see it in my mind, his chubby little hand waving on that screen.

The sweetest, chubbiest cheeks

The week and a half that followed were filled with a growing excitement. I am forever grateful to that sweet ultrasound tech - she filled me with joy and excitement to meet this sweet baby boy who was waving at us from my womb. She breathed new life into me after a long, difficult pregnancy... with long work hours and grad school for Thomas, lots of solo parenting for me, house hunting, house buying, moving, sickness, bedrest, house problems... I had hardly had time to be excited. But we were actually going to have a sweet baby! He waved at us! Judah was going to meet his long-awaited baby brother! I finally washed tiny clothes, packed the diaper bag, got out all the baby gear, installed the car seat.

We had no idea that June 12th, 2014 would be the last time we would see Theodore alive. That a last minute ultrasound to check fluid levels would be such a blessing and a memory to cling to.

June will always be the month we became parents, and the month we went through something no parent should have to bear. Walking through June, and life, is a tender mix of joy and sorrow... sorrow and joy. You can't know one without knowing the other, not on this earth.